Memories and Dreams
by GW Katrina
Summary: The line between life and death is a thin one. Especially when you are fighting to save the world. Slash
1. part one

Title: Memories and Dreams  
Author: GW Katrina  
Beta: Rebecca  
Rating: PG-13  
  
WARNING: This story contains character deaths! If you still read it   
and whine about that, I will laugh at you. This is your warning.  
  
Archive: Anyone who wants it. I would be ever so pleased if someone   
besides me did archive it. *grins*  
Disclaimer: Don't own them.   
Authors Notes: Just something I wrote when I saw all the smoochy   
couples at work. A little sad *gets out tissues* but it'll be happy   
at the end. I just can't write a completely sad story. *pouts*  
  
Memories and Dreams  
  
Mud.  
  
He was covered in mud. The scent of moist earth and grass clogged   
his nose, and Tommy forced open heavy eyes. Confusion crossed his   
face as he stared at his surroundings. It took a few minutes for it   
to register where he was.  
  
A memory flashed.  
  
/Merton pulled him into the small house, a blinding smile on his   
face. Whenever the dark-haired boy looked this happy, Tommy couldn't   
help but be happy for his friend and lover.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Looking around, Tommy let the wolf out a little, and it helped him   
check out the place. It was cozy, and smelled of Merton, which both   
parts liked.  
  
"How.... Where'd this come from?" Tommy asked, awed. "How long can   
we stay?"  
  
"Tommy, it's ours."  
  
Startled green eyes looked at Merton, who was bouncing in   
place. "Okay. Lost now."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Merton dragged his lover over the couch and pushed   
him down, joining him and snuggling in. "Remember how I've collected   
trophies and other little things from our various fights?" Tommy   
nodded, still lost. "Well, I found someone to buy a few of them.   
Then I used that money to play the stock market." Merton's grin was   
mischievous. "I think all my luck was saved until I met you, Tommy.   
I was really, really good at making money."  
  
"Money?" Wait, this was starting to make sense, if Tommy could just   
get his brain to focus past the 'it's ours' part of the conversation.  
  
"A lot of money, actually." The Goth was bouncing again, and every   
bounce sent interesting sensations through his werewolf   
friend. "Enough that we will never have to worry about much again."  
  
"We?" Okay, he'd gotten up to the money part of the conversation.   
Now, if his mouth would just stop moving ahead of him.  
  
"Why, but of course," purred Merton, leaning in to let his lips   
brush against Tommy's ear, sending shivers down the other boy. "Your   
name is on both accounts. I'll give you the things later." Leaning   
back, smiling at Tommy's whine for the lost contact, Merton   
smirked. "What do you think about christening this place?"  
  
*That* Tommy caught right away. With a low growl, he pounced his   
laughing lover, and they began to christen their new home on the   
couch./  
  
Shaking his head, Tommy snorted. Okay, he was at the safe house.   
That didn't explain why he was covered with mud. Or why Merton   
wasn't right next to him, yelling at him for making the place a mess.  
  
Sneezing the dirt from his nose, Tommy could feel the change   
happening, just a bit. Everything seemed so much clearer, even   
through the stench of the muck. Taking a deep breath, Tommy froze.  
  
He smelt death.  
  
Most people knew that death had a smell, but only the foul one. The   
smell of a person letting go of all their waste, of rotting flesh.   
But wolves could smell more than that. They could smell fresh meat,   
the age of the death, what had died, even how, sometimes.  
  
There was something mixed with the death smell. Both smells were   
familiar, but they had never been mixed before.  
  
With a whine, Tommy tore through the house, following his nose. It   
couldn't be. It was impossible. No, no, nononononono.  
  
Panting, he burst outside, and slid to a stop beside a mound of   
dirt. One with a crude marker, scratched into wood by claws.  
  
Merton  
Friend, Lover, Mate  
  
  
Falling to his knees, Tommy tore at the dirt. This couldn't be. What   
had happened?  
  
As if called, another memory tore through him.  
  
/"Tommy!"  
  
Growling, Tommy struggled harder with the things that held his arms.   
They only made that high pitched chittering noise and tightened   
their hold, making Tommy wince. He snarled, eyes searching for where   
they had taken Merton.  
  
The whole thing had started bad. Everyone in town had gotten   
together for the yearly Founders Festival, when a hole of inky   
blackness has appeared over the stage. Before anyone, even he or   
Merton, could react, dozens of these creatures, the same shade as   
the hole, with giant wings and horse heads, had poured out of the   
hole, quickly taking over the square.  
  
Tommy didn't know how they knew who was who, but he and Merton were   
quickly grabbed and taken on stage. The largest of the creatures,   
decorated with red markings, had done something. It had hurt, more   
than anything that had ever hit Tommy had ever hurt. When it was   
done, he had wolfed out in front of the whole town.   
  
Even though he had been outed to everyone, Tommy had fought, trying   
to get to Merton, who was withering in pain as the leader touched   
his head. Then he had been subdued by sheer numbers.  
  
Now, though, Merton, his mate, had cried out his name in pain. The   
wolf in Tommy snarled as it tried to find it's mate, then both froze   
as a blood curdling scream broke the air. The thick coppery scent of   
blood filled the area, and Tommy could hear gasps and cries from the   
people who were still trapped by the creatures.  
  
Then, with another chitter, the creatures stood back, and let Tommy   
see his friend. At the sight, the sudden surge of strength he had   
had allowed him to rip loose one are and snap one of his capture's   
neck. They quickly subdued him again, and as he looked at Merton,   
there was a satisfied expression on his face.  
  
Tommy lunged for his mate again, whining as he took in the way   
Merton was slumped on his knees, some type of strange rod shoved   
through his stomach. It seemed to Tommy that the rod was the only   
thing holding his friend up. And that didn't seem like it was going   
to work too long.  
  
Always pale, Merton was ghostly, and his eyes were the only color in   
his face. Still, even kneeling in a pool of his own blood, Merton   
looked smug, a strange smile on his bloodless lips.  
  
"Tommy," mumbled Merton, who then paused and repeated the name,   
louder. "I love you, Tommy."  
  
"Nooo," moaned Tommy. He had seen that look once before. With   
Medusa. "Don't, Merton. Whatever you're going to do...."  
  
With his eyes rolling up into his head, Merton said three strange   
words. Words that made Tommy's bones ache, and were said in a voice   
that wasn't really Merton's.  
  
The creatures screamed. Whatever had happened, this wasn't in their   
game plan. Tommy struggled again, and managed to tear away this   
time. Lucky for him, too, since the things burst into flames seconds   
later, but he was ignoring them, racing to catch a friend who was   
slumping to the side.  
  
"Merton." He could hear the whine in his voice, the noise of a wolf   
in distress, but he didn't care. "Merton, come on. Don't do this,   
please?"  
  
Merton smiled again, and Tommy forced down a wince at the sight of   
those blood stained teeth. "Safe house, Tommy. Want you safe. Want   
you...." Whatever Merton was about to say was cut off by a thick   
hacking noise, and more blood bubbled out of his mouth, and it was   
the Goth who whined this time. Blue eyes fluttered, then   
shut. "Tommy, safe. Love you."  
  
"Love you, too. Don't die, Merton."  
  
One second he had been holding his hurt, but living, mate. The   
next.... Tommy threw back his head and howled./  
  
The howl he had let loose on the stage was echoed as Tommy let loose   
another pain filled howl, then dropped, sobbing, on Merton's grave.   
  
There were vague, hurt filled memories of getting here with the   
other boy's body, and digging the hole with his own hands. Then   
dragging himself into the house, collapsing just inside the door,   
wanting to die. Anyway, anyhow, just so he could be with the one he   
loved.  
  
Whimpering, Tommy curled up on the dirt, and let sleep claim him   
again.  
  
TBC


	2. part two

Disclaimer and A/N see part one.  
  
Memories and Dreams  
  
"Tommy, you really are an idiot at times, aren't you?"  
  
With a yelp, green eyes shot open, and Tommy could only stare at who   
he saw.  
  
There, before him, sitting on soft green grass, was Merton. Who was   
quickly laying on the grass, a sobbing werewolf clinging to him.   
  
"I thought you were dead. There was this awful dream, and you were   
dead, and I buried you, and then I realized that you were dead, and   
I wanted to die, and...."  
  
Tommy's run-on sentence was cut off by Merton gently placing his   
hand over the moving mouth. "Tommy, breath."  
  
Taking a deep breath to please his lover, Tommy looked around. Okay,   
he'd never seen this place before.   
  
Pulling away from his lover, the taller boy looked around.  
  
The grass was so green it was perfect. The air was clean, and they   
were in a small clearing in the middle of a lot of trees. Tommy had   
never seen anyplace so beautiful. Or so perfect.  
  
It couldn't be real, even if the wolf was fooled.  
  
A wave of sadness crashed over him, and he turned towards   
Merton. "This isn't real, is it? It's a dream."  
  
The question drew out Merton's blinding smile, the one reserved just   
for when Tommy had gotten a hard question right the first time. But   
there was an edge of sadness to it as well. "It is a dream, Tommy,   
but not like you mean. Come here."  
  
Wrapping his arms around his lover, Merton sighed. "I did die,   
Tommy. The demons, what we saw in town, had linked me to a spell.   
Something about my blood drew them, but I don't know what. The   
spell, however, I did recognize. If they had finished it, the door   
we saw, the black hole, would have gotten big enough that they could   
have brought thousands over." Leaning forward, he let his forehead   
rest against Tommy's. "So I took control of it."  
  
"What?" Tommy had been with Merton long enough to realize that it   
took a lot of power to take a spell away from someone, especially if   
it had a sacrifice.  
  
Swallowing hard, Merton looked at the ground. "I took it from them.   
I changed the unwilling sacrifice to a willing sacrifice, and then I   
stole all the power they had built into the spell. Then I used it to   
destroy them."  
  
The hurt on Merton's face made Tommy pull him close and rock him.   
Man, Merton had barely even participated with any of the fights, and   
he had killed an entire group of... things. Merton had a lot of   
respect for life, and it must have really been painful for him,   
mentally, to kill so many.  
  
So Tommy held him as the Goth cried.  
  
Finally, Merton pulled back, his eyes bloodshot. "Sorry." Shaking   
himself, the dark-haired boy sat back. "Anyway, I touched something   
when I stole the spell. Something dark. And when I did...." It   
looked as if he was having a hard of time saying the word as Tommy   
had thinking it. "When it happened, I ended up in front of some   
powerful things, Tommy. The Powers That Be, pretty much the end all   
and be the entire universe." Merton shivered, still awed by how much   
power he had seen.  
  
"They touched me, and they saw what I saw. Then they gave me a   
choice. I could go on to receive what I would consider heaven, but I   
would lose all memory of my mortal life. Or, I could come here and   
possibly help save my world." His grin was wry. "Guess you can tell   
which option I picked."  
  
This, Tommy thought, was exactly like Merton. Give up everything to   
help someone else. "How?"   
  
Merton shrugged. "Though you." His eyes grew dark. "You have to make   
a choice as well, Tommy." He stopped, until Tommy rumbled. "Sorry,   
this is hard."  
  
Looking down at Merton's twisting hands, Tommy had to agree. His   
mate wasn't usually this nervous about anything. "Shoot."  
  
Merton sighed. "Okay, okay. You also have two choices. One is   
similar to mine. You can die, which I can tell has been going   
through that little wolfy brain of yours."   
  
That earned Tommy the Glare of Doom, which Merton only pulled out on   
occasions that Tommy had been really, really stupid. Now it was   
Tommy's turn to fidget, since thoughts about joining Merton had gone   
through his head.  
  
"Don't think about that anymore. Anyway, you wouldn't join me, you'd   
go to your version of heaven. Don't ask me what it is, I don't   
know." Knowing he was only stalling the questions, Merton continued   
quickly. "Or, two, you stay and fight."  
  
Now a slight smile crossed Merton's face, and he looked rather   
pleased with himself. "There really is a Hellmouth in California,   
and it really does have a Slayer there guarding it. The Watcher's   
Council had a TV show made about it to throw everyone off the   
trial."   
  
Lifting a hand, he poked Tommy in the chest. "You'd have to go there   
and help. What happened in Pleasantville was only the beginning.   
Soon, everyone will know that the things that go bump in the night   
are real, and you will be on of the front liners of our defense."  
  
Merton laughed, a soft laugh. "Man, I'm about to steal a bit from a   
book. Who would have ever thought that Merton J. Dingle would   
plagiarize from a book?" He looked at Tommy. "This is a paraphrase,   
alright. It's from a book called Magic's Promise, by a woman named   
Mercedes Lackey. Read it sometime. It's really good.  
  
Anyway, the main character is given a choice. He is hurt badly, and   
had can pass on to the next life, or he can stay in a world that has   
hurt him and fight. If he stays, there will be dark times, with loss   
and pain, but his home will be saved, and people he loves will live   
on. If he decided to pass on, the many more of his people would die   
than if he had stayed, and the world as he knew it would be   
destroyed."  
  
With serious eyes, Merton placed his hand on Tommy's cheek. "It's an   
awful lot to ask, but those are your choices. Stay, and live in   
darkness, but leave behind light. Or you can leave, and leave both   
darkness and light behind you, but have neither look on anything   
that was once familiar to you."  
  
Tommy paused. Why? Why did things like this happen to him? All he   
had ever wanted was to be normal. And when that didn't happen, all   
he wanted was to be with Merton. Why couldn't he ever have what he   
wanted?  
  
Wait a minute.   
  
"Merton, what happens if I decide to pass on? What will you do?"  
  
"I would stay here, and watch what happened with our world," said   
Merton, sadness and fear in his voice.  
  
"And if I stay?"  
  
"I would be able to talk to you each time you slept, and I would   
offer any assistance I could. I mean, I'm dead, not useless."   
  
The fire he had always seen in his lover's eyes, expect for those   
few terrifying seconds he had gaze into them at the end, flared up,   
and Tommy knew what he would choose.  
  
"Tell you Powers That Be they have themselves a helper."  
  
Merton smiled. Then it turned to a leer, and he leaned   
forward. "This is our own slice of paradise, you know? We can do   
anything we want in here."  
  
"Anything?" Tommy smiled as Merton launched himself at him.  
  
If this could happen every time he slept, maybe this wouldn't be so   
bad.  
  
Five Years Later  
  
Tommy opened heavy eyes. Oh, man, his stomach hurt. He felt better   
the instant he looked into blue eyes, the same shade as the sky.  
  
"Hey, Merton."  
  
"Hello, Tommy. Welcome home."  
  
That was a new greeting. Usually, Merton either just pounced him, or   
he said it was nice of Tommy to visit. Once again, Merton helped him   
sit up. The injuries he had been taking in the fights had been   
transcribing to this little realm, but they quickly faded when he   
got here. Just like this one. Absently, Tommy wondered what had   
happened.  
  
"You've always been my home, Merton."  
  
That comment earned him a kiss, and then Merton sat back. For some   
reason, Tommy was reminded of the first time he had come here.   
Before the letter Merton had left him. Before the Slayer. Before the   
Darkness. Before everything the last five years had been.  
  
"You did it."  
  
Merton's quiet comment threw Tommy off beat. What did he mean, Tommy   
had done it? "What?"  
  
The frustrated sigh let him know he had said the wrong   
thing. "What's the last thing you remember, Tommy?"  
  
Frowning, Tommy thought about the battle that must have knocked him   
unconscious. "Um, we found out that the Slayer's little sister was   
the fifth point. And that the Darkness only had to midnight to take   
her." Anger rolled deep in Tommy's gut. The points, the key points   
of their world's stability, were held in five humans. Merton had   
been one of those people, and that was what had lead to his death.   
  
Gritting his teeth to get past the anger, Tommy continued. "We were   
defending her. Some of the Darkness had gotten though, but there   
were three of us there. Buffs, Xan, and me. Xan went down just a   
minute after Buffs did. Then I could hear the clock the Darkness   
carried begin to chime. After that, it's a blur."  
  
A soft hand brushed back his hair. "Twelve chimes happened, Tommy.   
Twelve. The midnight hour had struck, and Darkness had not destroyed   
all five points. It was banished back, and the five points were   
reborn all over the world."  
  
Tommy gaped at him. "It's.... It's over?" he whispered, not   
believing it. All he had done for the last five years had been   
fighting, and sleeping, and the sleeping wasn't even really   
sleeping, even if he did wake up refreshed. That had been his hiding   
spot, his refuge. Merton had kept him sane in a world gone mad, and   
now the madness was over.  
  
"What about this?" Green eyes were large with terror. "Will I get to   
come here still, or do I have to stop?"  
  
Now Merton went stiff, and Tommy looked up at a muffled snuffle.   
Tears were running down Merton's face, and he took it the wrong way.   
  
"NO! They can't do this to us! I just spent the last part of my life   
fighting for them. They can't take you away from me."  
  
"Tommy! Tommy! Damnit, Tommy, listen to me!" Finally, Merton pressed   
a hard kiss against his lover's lips. That shut the other boy up.  
  
"Tommy, I want you to look at something." He led the taller boy over   
to a pool, which they used sometimes to view the mortal world. "Xan   
survived, and he remembered what you told him, Tommy."  
  
Kneeling at the edge of the water, Tommy saw an old marker, wooden,   
with words scratched on it. Five years ago, it had been a raw wound   
in his heart. Nineteen years had not seemed long enough for Merton   
to be alive. Nineteen years was such a short time, especially when   
Tommy hadn't really noticed him until the last two.  
  
But the marker wasn't alone anymore. Beside it sat a new stone. Made   
of marble, it had just a few words on it.  
  
Merton and Tommy  
Mates Forever  
  
"You didn't survive the last battle, Tommy," whispered Merton. "When   
it realized it had failed, it tried to take everyone out with it.   
You jumped between it and the others. And you died."  
  
Tommy turned stunned eyes on Merton. "Now what?" he whispered. What   
happened next? They had done their jobs, what would be done with   
them.  
  
Fingers slid around his face, and lifted his head until he and   
Merton were face to face, so close their noses touched. "Tommy, we   
can do whatever we want. We can move on, we can be reborn; we can   
float around here for a few more centuries. We. Are. Free."  
  
Free. It had been a long time since Tommy had felt really free, but   
here, next to Merton, he did.  
  
"Free," he sighed, then moved in to kiss Merton.  
  
Right now, it was time to celebrate. They would decide what to do   
later.  
  
The End.  
  
  
A/N: Damnit, I really did try to make this all angsty, and leave it   
that way, but I just couldn't. Amazing this about this story is it   
started out as a death letter from Merton. Somehow, our snuggly Goth   
got himself killed, and Tommy found the latest version of his   
goodbye letter. Originally, it was going to contain Merton's   
confession of love, but it grew into this. Plot bunnies and sleep   
deprivation do not mix.   
  
Anyway, let me know what you think. Should I do snippets of what   
happened during the missing five years, or leave it like this? Do   
any of you guys want to put in what you think happened in the   
missing years?


End file.
